the compulsive need to prove
The voice of, "but who will like me if I don't .... " shows up as a constant need to prove our worth in order to belong. We may not consciously believe that we should have to "do stuff" to feel that we have value, but when the pressure is on, or something really matters, this core insecurity can creep into the driver's seat.
between inhalations
The waxing and waning of the moon, flooding and ebbing of the tides, blossoming and decaying of the fruit, and so forth are a kind of breath. In and out, expansion and contraction, becoming and releasing. From a zoomed-out perspective, there's impartiality to the process. The cycle simply is. Tracking this dance orients us. There's something comforting about recognizing the season of a thing. Where things get tricky, however, is not trusting this process in our own lives.
why i care
I believe your body holds wisdom that is essential for creating the world we all deserve to live in – you know, where no one must hustle or compete to meet their basic needs, where all bodies are deemed valuable and every being has ample space for rest and ease. My intention is not that this sounds like a lot of pressure, but I do get it if holding such power makes you feel a little anxious.
freedom journey
Why do we do the work of coming back into connection with our bodies? So often the wisdom they hold is not immediately apparent. Feeling for ourselves means also feeling the places that are uncomfortable -- our physical aches, the emotions we don't quite know what to do with, the old wounds.
to be held
This past weekend, I went to the InterPlay studio in Oakland where so many years ago I began the journey of coming back to my body. In this place, that at one time was a regular part of my day to day, I remembered how important it is to let one's self be held.
walking the thread
I still remember the words of my first meditation instructor: “This practice has made me more myself than anything else.” The words ping ponged through my body, “more myself,” “more myself ... ”
More myself, I imagined, would mean being able to reside in my body. It would mean knowing what really matters and making choices from that knowing. It would mean following my inner compass rather than the myriad other voices. I didn’t know how much I longed to feel, “more myself,” until I heard those words.
practice: re-meeting your body
Sometimes it feels like our bodies don’t quite fit. They don’t move how we move. They don’t look or we look. It’s as though we’re buried in a sumo suit of flesh and emotions that don’t accurately reflect who we really are. The real you is less messy, more grounded, less anxious and more confident. The real you is comfortable in her own skin.
success is
We can find the peace we seek when we see there is no there there. When we reach that pinnacle of achievement, when the accolades flood, the applause roars and the dollars pile, the whispers of doubt and fear do not cease. There is story after story after story of this. So, what then? We learn to be with these inconvenient feelings. We feel our sensitivity, entertain that we’re a failure, let our over-active mind tumble us toward every worst-case scenario, and then we breathe.
being you is a practice
Identifying with the practice frees us from identifying with the outcomes. Practice is all the permission we need to do that thing.