walking the thread
I still remember the words of my first meditation instructor: “This practice has made me more myself than anything else.” The words ping ponged through my body, “more myself,” “more myself ... ”
More myself, I imagined, would mean being able to reside in my body. It would mean knowing what really matters and making choices from that knowing. It would mean following my inner compass rather than the myriad other voices. I didn’t know how much I longed to feel, “more myself,” until I heard those words.
the risk of the self
There's a difference between fitting in and belonging. When we fit in, we're who others expect us to be. When we belong, we're who we really are.
While this distinction may feel clear to our minds, in our bodies it’s not always so straightforward.
burn it down
We’re standing with our feet in the fire. The natural tendency is to want to put the flames out — reach for the bucket, stop feeling and start doing. While that may alleviate some pain in the short term, engaging in actions to push away feelings of “less than” is a tool that systems of inequity use to keep internalized structures of oppression intact. Our suffering becomes our fault.